How to kill cooperative efforts


How to kill cooperation

  1. Interpreting facts presented to you by others as opinions & not doing further research to solidify your point of view (or actively avoiding determining the best solution out of alternatives as identified by opportunity cost)
  2. Interpreting questions as accusatory statements, then responding to the fact that a perceived accusatory statement was made, instead of just answering the question


I am tired of facts being labeled as “opinions.”

I am tired of questions being turned into perceived accusative statements.


Examples ("force" is implied through repetition)

1) ME: When do you want to work on XYZ?

  • THEM: Why are you trying to force me to do XYZ? 
  • ME: I am not. you said you wanted to before, I am just asking for a timeline.  If you don’t want to do it, then why did you say you wanted to? 
  • ANALYSIS: Why are you (them) choosing to turn a cooperative situation into a perceived top-down authoritarian situation, whereby you feel that you must attack those who are trying to control you?   When in fact no one is trying to control you, they are just reminding you of the cooperative intentions that you shared before.

2) ME: Why don’t you make a list for XYZ? (logically assuming that all humans (or intelligent living species) would want to improve XYZ, since XYZ would logically improve their lives)

  • THEM: Why are you trying to force me to make a list?  AKA why are you trying to get me to analyze XYZ as it relates to my (their) own life? 
  • ME: I'm not.  Just because I ask you “why don’t you make a list?” doesn’t mean that I am accusing you of not being able to make a list or being too stupid to make a list.  I just want to know why you are dealing with it OR not dealing with it in such a manner
  • ANALYSIS: Why are you (them) ignoring such an important aspect of life (XYZ) when logically it should not be ignored day-today by a being who posesses the intelligence to deal with and make use of such.


Anytime that #1 or #2 occurs, I instantly shut-off any positive intentions that I was trying to share with a person.  By doing 1 or 2, the person is turning a positive situation into a negative (or neutral) situation instantaneously.  Negative means that there is a net loss in positive coope+-rative action, and neutral means no change at all (which means efforts were wasted, since time/ energy has been lost while gaining nothing in return). 


I felt as thoughI needed to get this out, because it provides a simple explanation of why I avoid people (regardless of any other postitive mindsets that they hold OR material resources that they may share).  Doing these 2 things causes me a great amount of stress, which I would rather avoid (& which you should avoid to).